The offical online newsletter of the Parish of St. Brelade, Jersey
Labaguette Story Image
September 2008
News Stories
Investigation continues
Labaguette 1 Year
Mike Jackson re-elected
Vandalism at Quennevais
Colourful Tribute
Connetable's message
CO to PC
Ta to the TA!
life in the wild!
Blooming success for Max
Record uni places
Stir at Reg’s Garden!
Les Quennevais Sharks
Les Creux Bowls Club
It’s another Knockout!
Jersey Petanque Club
Warren Farm update
Red Cross pilot scheme
Grehound Rescue
"It's a fair cop"
St. Aubin Christmas ligh
Britain in Bloom
"Your Joking"
You’re joking!
(of course we are)
by La Baguette

• In an attempt to break St. Brelades trophy drought, next years ‘battle’ float is to have a nautical theme, and will feature a real topless mermaid - her ‘assets’ suitably shrouded by long, blond locks, of course.

However Health and Safety have stepped in to advise that, as a mermaid is half human and half fish, the human portion must wear rubber gloves at all times and hair must be neatly tucked up and secured under a white hat; whilst the fish portion must be kept refrigerated and clearly display a sell by date!

• A car had careered into, and demolished a granite wall in St. Brelade. Two Police officers attended the scene.

They listened to the drivers account of what had happened and took notes. The notes in one book read:-

Attend incident 22.50hrs No injuries. Car severely damaged. Wall demolished. Driver claimed to have swerved to avoid a pedestrian. Driver admitted to have consumed full bottle of vodka, 8 lagers and 4 double whiskies. Informed driver being arrested

Upon caution driver replied (recorded here as heard):
“Arreshting me? I jush shaved shum-one’s life!” Time of arresh.....
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